Young Willow Rosenberg get's lost, or rather, misplaced into England circa 1992, right under the very nose of Severus Snape.
Rated: C
Categories: Cross Overs
Characters: Willow
Genres: General
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5
Wordcount: 690 - Hits: 4860
Complete?: No - Published: 07/01/2004 - Last Updated: 07/04/2004
MiSSxMELON [Contact]
Real name: Helen Li
Member Since: 09/12/2004
Membership Status: Member
Membership Status: Member
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Reviews by MiSSxMELON
Reviewer: MiSSxMELON Signed 
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 1: How it began
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 1: How it began
Wow, I just started reading your story, it's really good! It reminds me of a movie The One with Jet Li where there are different worlds with identical people like you say, but it shall get interesting with Snape!
Reviewer: MiSSxMELON Signed
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 2: The interaction
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 2: The interaction
This story is great, I'm not kidding. A few suggestions with my opinion? I didn't really like Willow's first reaction, she was freaking out when in reality most people would still be dazed. And I would think Snape would have at least heard of some of those muggle things, they do teach muggle history or w/e at Hogwarts. But this isn't a flame or anything, I totally enjoy your story!
Author's Response: Severus the Pureblooded Death Eater, knowing and/or caring about Muggle things... doesn't seem too likely. Willow in cannon did seem to get fixated on random things that seemed strange, but it kept her mind occupied I suppose.
Reviewer: MiSSxMELON Signed
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 3: Fudge is an IDIOT
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 3: Fudge is an IDIOT
Hmm, your story still is very interesting, but there are a few things you should work on. You make Willow seem so super intelligent, but I'm sure that any witch or wizard would be just like her. Also, I doubt Snape would be that impressed that easily. Plus he seems so open which would take a while for someone like Snape and Willow seems too 'natural' in the wizarding world, everyone else would be a little astounded. So there are some character flaws. Some grammatical errors would be typing 'k' instead of 'okay' which is short enough or, if you'd like, 'kay.' It's hard to switch from IM language and all that stuff, but when you write you should really do that to look professional.
Not a flame! Just advice! I love your story!
Author's Response: I'm actually working on the theory that since he hasn't been alone in the dungeons for as long as he was when he met the trio, that it's possible he could be human under it all. It's not that she's super intelligent, so much, more that she uses it more than most children. My little sister is 11 and I use her as the basis for the idea that most 11 year old children are, for the most part, dunderheads.
Reviewer: MiSSxMELON Signed
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 4: Delightful Conversations
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 4: Delightful Conversations
Aww I liked that ending.
Same thing, she always says 'kinda' and some words that don't really make sense, you might want to at least define it for the reader so we understand.
Again, watch and proofread your chapters, make sure the character is doing what he/she would be doing if this were real. She seemed to sidetracked on the house-elves and other stuff instead of the whole different world thing.
It also seems strange that a parent would leave their ten year old child alone at home, that's actually illegal. You should try to work out some of the flaws/loopholes because stories are a lot about logic!
I've decided I'm being way too mean, so here are the things I really enjoy about your story.
I love the theme of a little girl touching Snape's heart, that's just wonderful work right there. Like I said, I love that last line, she sounded like a little child like she is. She seems like me, sometimes I can be totally like 'bleh teenager' or sometimes really smart and stuff.
I also like your character development, I'd like to know more about Willow and her 'enemies.'
Keep up the good work, always strive for improvement!
Author's Response: Willow's parents. Semi-cannon there actually. We see very little of her parents in the show and what we saw wasn't good. Her mom did try to burn her at the stake after all.
Reviewer: MiSSxMELON Signed
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 5: Willow and Severus Bond
Date: 09/17/2004 Title: Chapter 5: Willow and Severus Bond
I was a bit confused, why would there be a nursery in Snape's Manor if he had no children?
Goody, if I get stuck here for good at least I get to keep him. She opened her mouth to say something along those lines and all that came out was a huge yawn.
^Make sure when you're making it Willow's POV that you keep it 'I' not 'She.'
I do hope you update soon, but I wish that within the next chapter you'll improve a bit on your grammar/characterization.
Overall, good chapter!
Author's Response: Actually, Snape Manor... being the Manor House it is, would theoreticlly be set up with a nursery, since, you know Severus was a baby once way back when....