Reviews For Punishment Duty
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Reviewer: OriginalityPreferred Anonymous star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/02/2006 12:26 am Title: Punishment Duty

This is cute. I can't comment on the characterizations, as I've never seen a Bond movie (*gasp*), but I like it anyway. One note, however, your PoV is very confusing. The beginning seems to be from Alec's perspective, as he notices things about James' smile and hair that James wouldn't. But then you say 'to James' surprise' which Alec wouldn't know. I thought it was one little slip up, until Alec starts thinking about how hot he looks. Unless the character really is on a huge ego-trip, that seems unrealistic. And then for the end you pull back, and seem to simply be narrating. For example: "The two friends glared at each other." But the very last two lines feel like you're inside someone's head again. I suppose my point is that the constantly switching PoV threw me. It is subtle, but I got into one pattern of thinking, and then was thrown out by different lines. Other than that, it was quite good. I especially like the twist at the end - I thought they were just stuck socializing, not waiting on people! :)

Reviewer: librarianhawk Signed star star star star half star [Report This]
Date: 10/17/2004 09:52 pm Title: Punishment Duty

That is adorable. I can totally see them doing something like that.

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